Bad tea and Joy Rides and dough! Oh my!
by eak917
Summary: What happens when Emmett gives Bella some..."bad tea"? Craziness, that's what! R&R please! Oneshot


**Okay so a few nights ago I had a completely random dream that I felt the need to type up. I also added stuff to my dream so it will be longer. Isn't that nice?**

**Disclaimer: Violets are blue, roses are red, Twilight's not mine, so get that in your head! (I mean it)**

**Bella's POV**

A faint ray of sunlight made me flutter my eyes open. In front of my face was a grinning Emmett. What am I going to do today? Charlie will be out fishing today like he normally does on a Saturday. Wait a second…EMMETT?! Surprised, I jumped backwards – though how you do that in a bed I don't know – and hit my head on the bedpost. Ouch.

"Oh my gosh! Emmett, what are you doing here?!" I exclaimed, rubbing the bump on my now aching head.

He hesitated, like he was having some difficulty choosing his words, and said, "Nothing."

Typical Emmett.

"Where's Edward?" I asked. Usually he was here, being his mansuetude-like self.

"Downstairs," Emmett replied. He was still grinning like an idiot. Why?

He handed me a multi-colored mug that he must have been holding. Cool. Multi-colored cups are awesome. I gazed in the mug and a black liquid stared back at me, sloshing around in its container.

"Um, Emmett? What's this?" I wondered, nervous about what the answer might be.

"Tea," he said, maybe a little too quickly. "Edward thought you might like it."

Okay. If Edward thought it was fine, then that was good enough for me. I tipped the cup back and the contents went into my mouth…EW. Bad tea. It was not too hot, but not too cold. Goldilocks' porridge made into liquid. Still, it was disgusting! I spewed it out, not getting all of it from my mouth.

This could _not_ have been from Edward.

"EMMETT! WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME?!" I accused. Feeling my body and mind perk up, I guessed what I'd had with dread.

"Do you _really_ want to know?" he questioned, his grin getting wider by the second. I slowly nodded. "ESPRESSO!" he boomed.

That is just _great_. Did he know what happened when I had coffee? Let alone espresso! My eye started to twitch rapidly; the craziness just beginning. Oh no. My sanity was leaving me behind.

Must. Stop. Self. From. Fooling. Around.

Too late.

"Emmett? Where's Edward again?" I asked mischievously.

"He's still downstairs," Emmett replied. "Why?"

I whispered so that – hopefully – Edward couldn't hear, "Can you distract him for a few minutes for me? Pleeeaaasseeee?"

Emmett nodded his head yes. Just before he left, I added, "Make sure he doesn't hear your thoughts about what you're actually doing." He held a thumbs-up and mouthed an "Ok".

I rubbed my hands together like an evil mastermind. Tip-toeing after Emmett, I walked to the top of the staircase, my back against the wall. Waiting until I heard two voices talking, I crept downstairs. Luckily, I didn't stumble. I found that Emmett had brought Edward into another room, leaving the door open to escape.

Silently turning the knob, I walked outside. No rain. Yay! Back to business. Looking around, I finally found my target: Edward's Volvo. I opened the door **(A/N: Wow it's not locked) **and slid into the driver's seat. The key was in the ignition. (That's convenient) Turning the key, the engine purred. A rectangular plastic thing poked out at me. OOO a credit card!

Yelling louder than necessary so that the two vampires could hear, I said, "WOOHOO! JOY RIDE!!"

I pulled out of the drive way and sped along the road to Edward's house – hopefully Alice would be waiting; she could've seen this in a vision by now.

Because of the fact that Edward was super-fast, I drove like the maniac I was. In a few minutes, I was at the Cullen residence.

I leaned over to the other door and opened it from the inside. Alice was standing and staring disapprovingly at me with her arms crossed.

"Aren't you happy that I managed to steal Edward's car?" I asked, puzzled.

Alice answered, "Yes! It's just…you're still in your pajamas." Oh, that's what the glare was for.

"Oh. Get in!" I said. Alice danced into the Volvo, handing me a bag. I peered in – there were clothes in it. Alice smiled. She's always so prepared!

"You get changed, I'll drive," she explained.

I hopped to the back seat "NO PEEKING!" I cautioned. Alice giggled. Throwing my new shirt over my head, the car headed towards Port Angeles.

**At the Mall (parking lot)**

I ran out of the mall with a mask on my face, carrying loads of sticky doughnuts in my arms.

"ALICE!" I yelled, signaling her to come up. She drove the car to me, and I got in.

"Bella? Remind me again why you're wearing a mask," she said.

"IT'S COOL! THAT'S WHY!" I replied. **(A/N: haha did you think she was stealing stuff?)**

Another question formed in her mind. "How much did those doughnuts cost?"

I shrugged. "No idea. I just used Edward's credit card." Alice and I high-fived. She made a face as she realized now she had a sticky hand.

Wiping her hand on her pants, she asked, "What are you going to do with those, anyway?"

I leaned over and whispered my master plan in her ear.

"Okay…" she murmured. Of course she thought it was weird – it was!

**Later at Bella's House**

Alice and pulled into my drive way. I was excited and scared as Edward materialized beside the car.

"Where have you been?!" his voice was directed mainly at Alice. He didn't want to blame me; he never wanted to.

I kissed Edward for no reason. (Or _is_ there a reason?)

That was Alice's signal. While he was distracted, Alice bombarded him with doughnuts.

While Alice and I laughed, we heard Edward growl from his chest. That just made us laugh harder. Haha, poor – or maybe not – Edward.

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